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Waiting for the "Official Match Sec's" report, just a little slow for a canon perhaps!
However knowing that our members like to keep abreast of the action
"Our Man In The Field" Pres' George has come up trumph.
George reports that he has seen Hamilton Thornyhill a lot stronger
but that shouldn't detract from our win on the night.
The match secretary took on the job of skipping Big Willie Kings rink,"Get Well Soon Willie",
didn't phone his team and you guessed it,
Alison Taylor jetted of to some far off warm place and didn't tell anyone.
Sounds like, "Do As I Say but Not As I Do"
so he played with 3.
On seeing James TaitHamilton Thornyhill hobble in to the changing room,
heMatch Sec' fixed it so that heMatch Sec' was playing him.
Poor James he tried to play, failed miserably,
gave Cannon a barrow load of shots, then hobbled of and stuck his leg in ice.
Willie won the cup and to top it all the Hamilton Thornyhill president
had bottles of wine for the winners, unbelievable.
Willie Baird didn’t manage to contact Bill Struthers another no show
he got beat.
I "being George The President" won by TEN.
I think Jim Strang playing instead of Tommy won a close game.
Cannoncan we make our reports a little more sociable and "PC" by using first names also. Ed
is going to send you the results and his version this is the right one!!!!
Come on Mr Match Sec' send in that report.Ed
Careful team selection led East Kilbride and Haremyres to a convincing win
over Hamilton and Thornyhill in our first Inter Club match of the season,
winning 3 matches out of the four ties and returning a 42 to 20 shots victory.
East Kilbride and Haremyres Hamilton & Thornyhill
Jim Strang 11 A Hall 4
George Strang Jun (p) 13 D Burns 4
Willie Cannon 12 J Tait 2
Willie Baird 6 A Devine 10
The Build Up………..
As suggested by the unofficial match report,
the Match Secretary stepped into the shoes of Willie (sore knee) King
and played against James (sore knee) Tait.
With so many sore knees around Nicola Sturgeon has placed Archie Craig in an isolation unit
as he appears to have been the source of the current outbreak.
Elsewhere Tommy Campbell couldn't remember if he was in or out until the last minute,
and was so confused he was rounded up for everyone's safety
and put in a home for senile senior people for the weekend,
(otherwise known as the Senior pairs at the Norwest Castle).
His withdrawal allowed his rink to be strengthened with Jim Strang,
Stuart Raeburn and William Boyd, all willingly stepping in
once they knew they didn't have to play with Tommy.
This arrangement bolstered the evergreen Alison Allison
as the only remaining original member of the rink.
In anticipation of James Tait walking off after a few ends
the Match Secretary decided to field a team of three players,
recognizing the strengths of Linda (I love sweeping and being shouted at by men) Smith
and John (I love playing with Willie Cannon and shouting "sweep" at Linda) King
would be best displayed by them playing three stones each.
Fielding three, was also ever so slightly down to having soundly failed to remember,
Alison Taylor said she couldn't play!
(well I think she said that but for future reference the Match Secretary reserves the right to record all phone calls).
Willie Baird also played with three, but for a different reason,
Bill Struthers had a premonition that Willie was going to play rubbish and just didnae turn up.
The Matches………..
Jim Strang's rink put in a solid performance to earn their victory,
with Jim highlighting the benefit of Alison Allison's experience as a key factor
(this was the second skip to highlight the silky skills of Alison"OOOOeeeee!!!" Ed in two days,
the under 70's could learn a thing or two here).
George Strang had sex on his sheets for the second time in two weeks…………..oops
that should be six, scoring a six on this occasion rather than giving it away.
To be fair George's team played to his strengths and on several occasions
there were half a dozen stones across the back of the tee line in an arc
onto which George could play any weight and even wide
and still end up near the button.Nice one Willie. Ed
Willie Cannon's front end played very well,
and if called on to make a shot Willie could rely on so much luck
that he was surprised James Tait didn't go off sick as a dog
before his knee finally gave in.
To be fair James was unable to play his shots properly
and the high scoring on this sheet would not have occurred
had he been anywhere near the level he can normally play at.
We wish him well for a quick recovery and return to the ice soon.
Willie Baird was depleted by the absence of Bill Struthers on the night
(nothing to do with the M.S. on this occasion!).
If this wasn't bad enough Willie had trouble remembering which side he was playing for
as he neatly tapped his opposition in for a five with the last stone of the first end.
The Cup………..
At the end of the night, with no penalty applied for playing with three players,
Willie Cannon's rink was awarded the Ross Tankard for what is the Club's third victory in a row
(although we lost the previous five years without reply!).
In fairness H&T were a shadow of their normal self with some notable absentees,
injuries and even some players rising from their sick bed for the game.
We are sure they will regroup and return to challenge us next year
in the type of closely fought match which is typical of this fixture.
BREAKING NEWS
Tommy Campbell has pulled out of the Avondale Match
as he is providing tour services around Scotland for some Swiss curlers.
Isn't it ironic, for a few hundred pounds you can travel to Switzerland,
drink a small cup of liquid and slip away quickly and peacefully.
The Swiss on the other hand choose to travel to Scotland and spend a week with Tommy!!
First class report Willie despite what the Pressie says your's has to be "The One". Ed
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First off, without any prompting,
President George has presented us with the lowdown(or..... how he saw it through the rose tinted specs)
on this our first leg of the Heather match
The official Match Report follows after "The Presidential Chat"....Ed.
The Heather were out in force again, all their usual top skips on show
apart from their President Stuart Anderson who pulled out to go to the dentist!!
having forgotten about it till his wife reminded him.Where would we be without them??
He sent in his place Don “Superstar” Frame (as he is fondly known in the Heather)
to play our mixed rink led by Margaret Richardson, our match secretary,
Mhairi Baird and Margaret Ferguson,.....they had a great win.
But here! is Wullie no the big stud, surrounding himself with all the ladies,
he can pick his teams all right, a mixed rink.......??...........,
is two male two female, if that's a bit confusing don’t hesitate to contact the president for advice.
The four other games were very tight all being won or lost by a shot or two.
Lastly, I was playing Alastair” I could walk on water “ Smith, this didn’t go well.
Alastair had an outstanding game and although I played to my usual strengths,
and won half the ends, the ends I lost were fours and threes.
In the end I was beaten by six.
My brother pointed out in the morning that I was, too “jokey” and this is where I went wrong.
( not something Jim could be accused of being)
In the end we were only two shots down which is nothing over six games
especially if I get my act together (and not jockey).
One other point, our treasurer is getting fed up, with people who have not paid their fees,
if you have not paid could you please pay now.
Thanks,
President George .
P.S......Do you think Cannon was up all night drinking coffee
to write all that?Nah!! he disnae hae tae get up early like you..... Ed.
I take it as George had not seen Willie's report on The Heather match, which follows,
he is referring to the Official Hamilton Thorny hill one above.
Further material has arrived in my INBOX from George since posting the "Presidential chatter".
I append it here verbatim........Ed.
"I took Wullie King home in the shitty car
but after drawing up next to Marion Craig’s ( a girls night to talk about knees ) new Jag was told to leave sharpish.Nuff Said......Ed.
THE OFFICIAL MATCH REPORT (beware of imitations)Match Sec' W. Cannon
GRAND MATCH, you bet it was!
EKHCC vs Mearns Coronation
The Official Match Report
The Half Time Score.............
It is true that our Club is blessed with some of the best curlers in Lanarkshire..
Unfortunately, it would appear that the Match Secretary didn't pick them
to play in this tie, based on some of the results.
After the first leg, the scores stand at 41 to 39 in favour of Avondale,
or in simple terms we are 2 shots down at half time;
(just like a Rangers European tie, except we are only two down at half time).
You may assume this tells a picture of tight games and tactical play,
and you would be correct up to a point,
was it not for an outstanding display from one of the teams.
(mentioning no names, an unassuming quiet bunch of individuals just trying their best)
we would have been taking our shoes and socks of to count the score difference.
The blood and guts of it all are laid out below.
Before..............
Archie Craig (sare knee), pulled out early,
as like Kenny Miller he is having to play less frequently to preserve his fitness for key games.
(the reference to Kenny Miller is purely in terms of being played sparingly to avoid long term injury,
the Match Secretary is not inferring that Archie misses his shots or cannae strike a barn door).
Tommy Campbell also pulled out as he is host to some Swiss victims;
(although Tommy prefers to call them "guests").
James Baird and Mhairi Baird kindly stepped in to the breach in their places.
For future reference, call offs due to sare knees
will need to be accompanied by a doctor's line
as it is beginning to be a lame excuse;
(if you don't like the jokes you could have stopped reading after the score above!!).
During..........
The matches were;
Jim Strang...v...Tom Allan
George Strang...v...Alistair Smith
James Baird...v...David Stobo
Margaret Richardson...v...Don Frame
Willie Baird...v...Hugh Neilson
Eric Richardson...v...Jim Allan
Jim Strang and his team of Willie Allison, Jim Drumgold and Jim Boyd made heavy weather of their fixture
and only regained some respectability with a 3 in the last end to lose by 7-5 overall.
Jim was unable to take advantage when having last stone,
for God knows he had it often enough.
Tip for the next game, try not to have last stone just as often!
On arriving at the ice rink Alistair Smith was downbeat to hear Archie wasn't playing,
thinking an easy win might be harder to come by this time.
However, he needn't have worried, up stepped George Strang Junior
with the sort of display that would bring a tear to a glass eye.
On arriving at the ice rink George told the Match Secretary that his car was covered in sh**………………...,
you know the sort of thing,
anyhow inside the ice rink it was his curling that was reeking of sh**…..
His excuse, Alistair played well, which roughly translated for the curlers among us means George didnae.
With George on this horror ride were
Helen (I am laughing or I would cry) Drummond,
Willie (why was I moved out of Margaret Richardson's team - see below) King
and Alison (I wish I had a sare knee) Leiper.
As it happens it was "George Strang" listed on the team sheet,
not "George Strang Junior". As they say, never send a boy to do a man's job.
Anyhow, after that performance and to avoid confusion next time
there might no be any George Strang's listed at all.
Oh, the score was 10-4 (to Avondale in case you have lost track).
Tip for the next game, call off with a sare knee!
James Baird was supported by Jim Craig, William Boyd and John King in their match against David Stobo.
This was a rerun of the January fixture
where the same front end was skipped by the Match Secretary in the Cup winning performance of last years tie.
Indeed this team was meant to be skipped by the Match Secretary again,
but unselfishly he stood down to give James Baird a chance with a good team.
A hard tie was fought out with a 7-6 victory for David Stobo being the end result.
Throughout the game Jim Craig looked like a half shut knife
having just returned from Canada 12 hours earlier,
William Boyd looked jaded having had man flu over the weekend,
and John King looked a nice shade of bright pink from having to sweep.
Tip for the next game, play better.
Archie's absence allowed his wee sister to step up to the mark.
It could be said that Margaret plays a fine draw, a firm tap back weight and a superb strike,
but that would be a lie.
Since marrying into the Richardson name the "Craig" ability to play strike weight has gone,
to be replaced by what Eric describes as "strike" but in reality is no more than a poofy barrier weight.
However, you can take nothing away from Margaret when it comes to tactics and she executed an excellent game,
ably assisted by Margaret Ferguson, Mhairi Baird and the Match Secretary.
As if by pure luck the Match Secretary found himself in a team which played to a whopping 11-4 victory over Don Frame.
Funny how these things turn out isn't it.
While Margaret played very well,
there were several occasions when the Match Secretary had to overrule and shout over her calls for sweeping.
Each time Margaret would come to the head and apologise, acknowledging her error,
making for a balanced and shared understanding in the relationship between the two players.
Eric, the notes on how to achieve this are in the post as requested.
Tip for the next game, keep up the good work.
Willie Baird was fresh from grannying Jim Drumgold in the Punchbowl,
but he took to having last stone again as if he liked it.
Initially having shown promise, he was pegged back by a Hugh Neilson team
with the bit between their teeth and their tails up - not a pretty sight it has to be said.
In the end Willie's team of Andrew (I can play strike weight) Craig,
Willie (so can I) Dykes and Willie (I wasnae asked to play strike weight) Craig lost 7-6.
Tip for the next game, pretend your opposition is Jim Drumgold.
In the final tie Eric Richardson and his team of Marion Craig, John Strang and Janet Leiper played against Jim Allan.
By all accounts it was a close game throughout,
which makes you wonder why Eric needed a score of 3 in the last end to run out 7-6 winners.
To be fair, Eric notched up what was only EKHCC's second victory of the night,
but with Margaret winning 11-4 it will be a long run home.
Tip for the next game, bring two cars.
So, that was that, and in case you have lost count the scores were
Jim Strang 5-7 Tom Allan
George Strang 4-10 Alistair Smith
James Baird 6-7 David Stobo
Margaret Richardson 11-4 Don Frame
Willie Baird 6-7 Hugh Neilson
Eric Richardson 7-6 Jim Allan
After (and Other News)................
Eric has confirmed it was indeed a long run home.
The Match Secretary has witnessed Katy Richardson play strike weight,
thankfully poofy barrier weight doesn't appear to be hereditary.
Willie King has recovered from his sare knee.
He tells the Match Secretary that his quick recovery was down to his lean physique and hard work.
Archie Craig has confirmed it will be a long time before his sare knee is better.
Tommy Campbell appeared briefly in the ice rink for a few minutes after the Avondale game
(to be fair it was long enough).
He confirmed his Swiss guests had expressed an interest in spending some time in Edinburgh
and so he had taken them there.
Apparently they immediately went of and made friends with the locals,
exchanging greetings such as "where is the airport?" and "save me before my heid bursts".
East Kilbride and Haremyres
V
Avondale Heather
Part 2 of 2
What could be better than beating Avondale Heather in our annual Inter Club match?
The answer is of course beating them two years in a row.
The news that the ice was melting on Lake of Menteith was enough to bring a tear to the eye of a keen curler,
and Avondale Heather President Stuart Anderson was no exception.
At least that was his excuse,
although in his case it might have had something to do with
presiding over one of his Club's heaviest defeats in recent memory.
How bad a defeat was dealt out you might ask?
Well put it this way,
as Stuart stood in the bar counting the difference in scores he had his shoes and socks off.
Thank goodness EKHCC hadn't scored another shot, goodness knows how he would have counted it!!
To be fair Stuart should have seen it coming,
as we say in our Club, if you can't beat George Strang you are in trouble.
From the first leg EKHCC were 2 shots down, and all to play for.
Four changes were made due to absences, allowing Brian King, Stuart Raeburn, Tommy Campbell and Agnes Strang to slot in.
Notably Margaret Richardson was tied up (by cancelled flights, not by Eric!!),
meaning the Match Secretary had to step up from third to skip.
Absentees on the Avondale side were Don "Superstar" Frame and Alastair Smith,
but if you want to go down that line we could say we were missing Archie Craig,
aye the one who legend has it recently beat the Finnish team single handedly at the Edinburgh International.
During the match it was mentioned that Alastair had been sent to get salt to melt the ice,
but unfortunately for Avondale he didn't make it back in time to get the match abandoned.
As we stepped onto the ice it was decided EKHCC would take the top of the board,
a decision which seemed to be causing problems as the games went on and the boards
started leaning off the wall with the weight of the scores on the top line.
The first match up saw Jim "I am not jokey" Strang versus David Stobo.
Last time out Jim struggled to shake off the honour of last stone,
but taking note of the first leg report he made sure to give David
his fair share of last stone through the game.
A tight game was played out,
something Brian King could only dream of when playing with Willie Baird the previous night,
resulting in a 5-2 victory for EKHCC.
A net 1 up for Jim overall, and even a wee smile.
On sheet B, the President's challenge was played out with George "jokey" Strang against Stuart Anderson.
George was on the wrong end of a heavy defeat from Alastair Smith first time out,
while Stuart endured a trip to the dentist.
This time around Stuart would have been happier pulling his own teeth out with a pair of pliers.
Stuart had been hoping to be in the small group of Avondale Heather curlers
who could say they had played in the Grand Match,
instead he ended up in the even smaller group who can say they lost to George Strang.
What an achievement.
The 11-5 victory for George cancelled out his personal deficit from the first leg.
Maybe the change of fortune for George was due to the addition of his mother to the rink,
at lead, although to be fair that wasn't where the Match Secretary had suggested she played.
Sheet C was Hugh Neilson versus Stuart Raeburn, with Stuart stepping in to skip in place of James Baird.
This rink was one down from the first leg,
and looked to be in for a tough match being pitched against Hugh.
However, a strong performance by the EKHCC front three players
was capped by what Jim Craig described as
a "better than I have seen Stuart play in a long time" game from the skip.
For Jim to say that it can only be assumed he was at the ice rink to see Stuart's exit from the Farmer's!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the end a 7-5 victory was achieved, giving this team a +1 score over the two legs.
Sheet D was Willie Cannon versus Jim Allan.
Last year Jim faced Margaret Richardson in the second leg,
handing over enough shots to give EKHCC the overall victory.
It was said Jim found it difficult to deal with Margaret's presence,
so how could we unnerve Jim this time……..bring in Tommy Campbell of course.
Unfortunately for Jim he faced every skip's dream,
a front end who were playing very well,
which combined with a bit of luck in the sixth end made it a long night for his team.
A final 11-3 score, and a combined +15 for this team over the two legs.
Would you believe it,
the Match Secretary in a winning team in an Inter Club match again,
funny how these things happen!
On sheet E Willie Baird was careful not to say he had a good team
(see Galston Report!).
Unchanged from the first leg this rink faced Tom Allan.
Another tough game, but another victory nonetheless,
by one shot on this occasion giving a two leg score for Willie which was even.
Finally on sheet F it was Eric Richardson versus Willie Kerr.
This game could have seen EKHCC achieve a whitewash across all the games,
but the ever sporting Eric decided a peel would be a fairer result!
Still, a net +1 meant that none of the EKHCC teams were down over the two legs,
quite an achievement.
Score summaries are;
Jim Strang 5 - 2 David Stobo
George Strang 11 - 5 Stuart Anderson
Stuart Raeburn 7 - 5 Hugh Neilson
Willie Cannon 11 - 3 Jim Allan
Willie Baird 7 - 6 Tom Allan
Eric Richardson 8 - 8 Willie Kerr
So there we have it, + 20 on the night and +18 overall,
and the trophy going to Willie Cannon's rink for the second year in a row.
Like the Grand Match, victories of this magnitude are like hen's teeth,
but for avoidance of any doubt we are going to enjoy it for the next 12 months.
Finally, for all the Avondale curlers logging in to this site,
as they say on Crimewatch, don't have nightmares,
this type of thing is very rare (at least as rare as once a year can be!!).
MEARNS CORONATION Tuesday 3rd November 7.55pm L.I.R.
Rink 1 Willie Dykes...John Strang...Alan Drummie...Tom Neilson
A 7/6 WIN for Willie Dykes and "The Honorables"
Rink 2 Andrew Craig...William Boyd...Campbell Steel...Willie Cannon
A 10/4 WIN for Andrew Craig, William Boyd, Campbell Steel & WC
What better way to spend a damp night in November
than in the comfort of the newly renamed "Hamilton" Ice Rink
playing curling against a sociable club like Mearns Coronation.
And so it was that we took to the ice for our annual challenge.
To face the mighty Mearns the Match Secretary had selected one rink
bursting full of tactical experience, curling knowledge and enthusiasm,
and another rink full of old folk like Alan Drummie, Tom Neilson and John Strang.
("Three Former Presidents", "Two Former Club Secretaries",
"Your Hon. President, Hon. Vice President and Hon. Member".
A little more respect for age and service would be more becoming of you. Ed)
There was one casualty on this occasion,
David Roxburgh's withdrawal allowing the Match Secretary to slip into the "young" team.
When selecting the teams it was noted that George Strang Junior
has split loyalties being a member of both clubs,
and with the horror of Avondale still fresh in the Match Secretary's mind,
he was not selected for EKHCC.
Apparently Mearns had a trial on the Monday night
to select their best eight players for the game,
unfortunately George didn't make it through that route either.
On the ice Willie Dykes and his team of John Strang, Alan Drummie and Tom Neilson
raced into an early lead against Douglas Ratcliffe,
but slowly and surely Mearns crept back into the game.
Alan Drummie had his colleagues well drilled to not speak to the Match Secretary
in case he got something to use in his report,
but all that was visible was a tight game
with almost all the stones remaining in play each end.
On the other sheet Andrew Craig and his team of
William Boyd, Campbell Steel, and the Match Secretary played against James Dykes.
A tight and nervy first five ends was played out
with Andrew also racing into an early lead before being pegged back for a couple of ends.
The Match Secretary was in fine form,
playing his stones to the front of the house,
which provided something for Campbell to hit with his barrier weight draws.
Going into the eighth end both games were tied at 7-4 in EKHCC favor
and it looked like either of our teams could run out overall winner,
but before you could mention "cup of cocoa and a wee biscuit before bedtime"
the oldies fell asleep leaving the more sprightly Willie Dykes up against it,
losing a 2 and finishing only 7-6 up.
In Andrew's team the Match Secretary was heavy with both of his stones in the last end,
leaving nothing for Campbell to bump into.
Fortunately the opposition placed some stones for him to rest against
and from there on Andrew carved out a 2 to finish 10-4 victory,
and highest up on the winning side status.
Would you believe it, the Match Secretary finds himself on another winning team!
Well done Andrew, a fine curler, clearly takes after his mother.
(Clearly some MS crawling being done here.....must be an ulterior motive. Ed)
Shot of this match has to go to Douglas Ratcliffe
with a stunning triple takeout straight from George Strang Junior's curling handbook,
removing three of his own stones
and giving the opposition's stones nothing more than a fright on the way past.
If only Douglas had done that a few times
when soundly beating Eric Richardson and the Match Secretary at Greenacres recently.
Other Stuff.................
Skips please check your scorecards before signing,
recently a card was returned with George Brown marked down as skip
when in fact it was Mr President who was skipping and George Brown was sitting at home.
Was it a case of mistaken identity?
Does someone think George Strang Junior looks like the wee man with the flat cap fae Carmunnock,
and that George Brown looks like the harbour master at Eaglesham duck and boating pond?
Or is it more sinister,
does the card marker think they would prefer George Brown to be skipping?
On reflection surely this is a case of mistaken identity.
Thanks again Willie on behalf of all the club members, "slagged or unslagged"......Oh! yes.....
and I've booked a seat at the next "CC", would'nt miss it for the world. Ed
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EK&HCC vs Stewarton Heather
The Official Match Report.......By Match Sec' W. Cannon
A trip to a damp and dreich Ayrshire was in store for the hand picked EK&HCC select to take on the mighty Stewarton Heather
(one of the hardest inter clubs according to Mr President - you will see why he says that later).
The Build Up………......
Two call offs for this one.
First Agnes took the huff for no being selected for the Avondale game and said she wasnae playing.
Carole Marsh took one look at the team line up (Eric, Harbour Master and John King) and invented some excuse no to play,
really Carole there was no need to make an excuse, we can all see where you were coming from.
The Match Secretary and Fiona Neilson stepped into the breach.
Immediately the Match Secretary had a dilemma, which team to play for,
his reputation at stake, does he go for the solid and dependable Willie Baird or
"the team that Carole didnae like the look of".
To ensure a fair and honest decision the Match Secretary took out his lucky coin and decided to toss for it,
heads Willie Baird, tails Eric.
First toss came up heads, so he thought give Fiona a chance - best of three , second toss head again.
Ok best of five, would you believe it heads five times in a row.
Well that was it decided, Fiona had to play with Eric while the Match Secretary put his lucky two headed coin away and joined Willie Baird.
The Games......
Willie Baird's team took to the ice,
Len Baker looking like he had mugged George Brown and stolen his flat cap,
the Match Secretary looking resplendent in his new club jersey,
and Andrew Craig in a jovial mood (clearly he hasnae read the Punchbowl Report yet!).
Keen ice caught out the EK&HCC curlers at the start, even those who play now and again at the Galleon - Willie Baird.
The first few ends were played out swapping singles.
In the sixth end Stewarton were lying well, but a chance came for Willie to strike a single yellow stone and lie shot.
Don't take out the only red one he was told………whoosh, furious sweeping, and before you could say ya stupid ****
Willie had picked the red stone out of an impossible position and given it an early rest against the barrier in preparation for the next end.
Fearing a mention in the match report Willie asked the Match Secretary if he would have played the same shot.
Similar to your one Willie he replied, but on the brush!
Anyhow a two was given up to lie one down.
End seven however was better and a three took Willie's team two up.
End eight was exciting stuff, and had it not been for a single yellow, EK&HCC would have been lying six.
So with his last stone Willie stepped up to remove the said yellow and lie seven,
whoosh, furious sweeping and………………we lost a one.
Overall a great tight game, a 6-5 win for the good guys, and the Match Secretary's reputation intact.
Game 2...... Jim Strang against Hugh Reid
At first looking like a tricky tie,
but after a couple of ends acclimatisation Jim was off and running.
Jim's team of Jim Boyd, Brian King and Marion MacDonald were in exceptional form, stones lying everywhere in the house, a skips dream,
which coupled with a few misses from the home team allowed Jim to head around the score board for a second time.
Jim admitted his team were great and he wasnae that good…………. your words Jim not mine!
All in all a good night out, finishing 14 - 2.
Game 3......
The team Carole didnae like the look of.
Eric is in a poor patch at the moment, makes a change from the dog house,
so much so that several attempts were made to try prevent him turning up.
First Jim Strang "stole" his brush from the ice rink,
then Eric lost his draw weight but unfortunately Lockhart found it when cutting the ice……….
Just over the hog line a foot inside the brush.
On arrival Eric was trying to park as close to the door as possible.
This seemed odd at first but after a couple of ends all became clear
as he went to his car and came back brandishing a barrow full of shots as a gift for Tom Wilson.
Another end later and with the game sinking faster than the Titanic, the third and skip acted out a scene from the film.
Picture it if you will, George "Leonardo" Strang standing behind Eric "Kate" Richardson
like the scene from the pointy bit of the boat,
Celine Dion singing "near, far, wherever you are"……………
well anywhere in the house with one of your stones would be a start at that point of the game I can tell you.
In the end, with Jim Strang well out in front Tom 's team let Eric and Co get a few shots for respectability,
finishing 8-6 to Stewarton Heather.
The Harbour Master, having the idea to build a model Titanic in the duck and boating pond,
said in the bar that Stewarton Heather were better than us.
You didnae have to wait to the end of the game to work that one out surely.
What next from the great philosopher……………confirmation that the Pope is a Catholic perhaps?
The End
If you are still interested.......
a great night was had for EK&HCC, running out 26 to 15 winners overall, in an away game as well.
Winning away from home, the stuff of dreams for Celtic. Well done to all.
And so with victory secured, and a bite to eat,
the EK&HCC players set off for one of Ayrshire's finest attractions,
the way oot o the place up the northbound M77.
East Kilbride and Haremyres......................Stewarton Heather
Willie Baird......6 T Smith......5
Jim Strang......14 H Reid......2
Eric Richardson......6 T Wilson......8
Other Stuff........
Dougie Ratcliffe was waiting to go onto the ice for Mearns as we came off.
He commented on the Mearns Match Report, saying he couldn't remember performing a triple knockout on his own stones,
but he must have if it was in the report.
That's right Dougie, everything in these reports is true, really!...........(Cracking report again Willie, many thanks.Ed
However on behalf of "The Secretary" Agnes
I cannot let your comments pass without letting the members know the true reason for her call off.
Over the last hundred years our club has only won "THE WALDIE GRIFFITH" three times.
This is not a poor reflection on the curling abilities of our members
but an indication of just how hard it is to come out tops in this competition.
The Waldie this year for our Province was played on Monday 23rd Nov. at Hamilton
much as the secretary at times has wished that she could indeed
on behalf of the club be in two places at the one time
we all know the impossibility of that.
Being a past winner of the Waldie
Agnes elected once again to represent the Club and Province
knowing that the "Match Secretary" would step in
not only to inflate his rather large "ego"
but to give his new jumper an airing.
Well, we, Alan, George, Sheena and Agnes
represented EK&HCC and the Province at Hamilton in the Waldie, on the 23rd,
we had a cracking afternoon's curling
coming out five shots up against "The Doonhamers" Gretna CC.
I doubt that the overall outcome of the Waldie will favour us this year,
as the total Province score up was rather low.
The curling was good, played with great spirit against a very sociable opposition
who were just shaded out of the running by Agnes and her team mates.
Ed)
The Match Sec' had his report on the editors desktop early this morning
which is why it appears on this page before "The President's" report for the same match,
which arrived this evening.
President George
My version starts with the queue going into the Galleon.
I was at the front of it, paying in a large contingent of our team.
At this point Eric burst in the door, to announce that,
"me and Wullie Cannon are stuck in the car park".
To which I heard from the back of the queue,
"good! don’t let that stirring bugger oot",
but this only delayed the main event,
which was to see if Wullie Cannon would manage to get his jumper on.
Anybody who reads his reports will know that a crew neck jumper is asking a lot of Wullie's head,
so when the jumper came out of the bag the dressing room fell into silence.
Somebody then said I hope it chokes the bugger!
I think he was even from Stewarton Heather( word's getting around),
but with the removal of his glasses and a few good jerks he managed it.
He said it was because it was new.
As for Eric he had two outstanding draws in the last two ends to save our dignity and maybe even the match.
I wonder if he could play third for me in the Farmers now that I have my "second" in place.
As for the curling,
Hugh Reid lifted bullocks at The Temples on the morning of this game,
he commented that they were only playing with their club rinks ( heard it all before)
so before he could get the float door up Jim had told him, "don’t worry I'll enjoy beating you, no matter who you're playing with".
After Jim received the grades for the bullocks he couldn’t believe it,
there were deductions and a P grade which stands for P...!
He enjoyed giving Hugh a good gubbing
and the next morning when he came for another load curling was never mentioned, job done.
On seeing Wullie play a good shot I said to Eric, "he's a good second",
Eric backed this up saying, "that's the place for him, you've got to keep him out of the head",
he has some funny ideas, which Wullie (I never get to strike) Craig will back up.
He was asked for a strike in the Province by Cannon but there were no stones in the house.
Wullie the Mearns Secretary still can't understand this.
As for our game, at one point after I played a strike which missed on a very tricky sheet
which even a Greenacres skip was struggling with,
we looked across to see our match secretary with a pen and paper laughing,
incredible...........!!!
straight out of the George Burley book of team management.
George.
|
The Presidential Report
This didn't go well.
Our first date to play Galston was cancelled
all their good players were playing that night in the "Super League".
Well the good players couldn't be bothered to come out on a cold snowy Sunday night but they still won.
The president had a great win against the strong rink skipped by Robert Anderson
who is working at the Mains, it was suggested he let me win,
in the hope of getting an early settlement for the work.
Andrew Craig also won with a strong performance against Big Gavin Hamilton
I might be giving Gavin too much credit
he has been demoted since he came last in their league this year.
Brother Jim struggled against Callum the sheep fermer
but got a 2 in the last two ends to claim a hard fought peel.
As you may have noticed we haven't lost a game yet,
so you can tell this was where the damage was done.
Steady Wullie Baird had a nightmare,
he had what we thought was a good team but Alastair Boswell with young Cunningham
gave them a right gubbing.
Wullie said he had some bad pickups but no one was listening.
We lost by 2 shots in the end.
George
Match Secretary's Official Report
This rearranged fixture fell the night before the now infamous Avondale Heather inter club game,
and served as a warm up for some of the EKHCC players.
And after the cold spell it became clear that some of them needed a bit more warming up than others.
During the day Willie Baird phoned to say George Brown was unavailable
(or possibly psychic and able to see the future),
but this wasn't a problem as the Match Secretary was available.
In fact this made perfect sense as Willie has a record of
played 3, won 1 and lost 2 in the Inter Club matches at that point,
and the only victory was with the Match Secretary present
(the latter having a played 4 won 4 record).
However, Willie was insistent that his rink was really strong,
what with it being himself, Alison Taylor and Brian King,
and that he would be fine with anyone, no need for the Match Secretary to wave his magic over the team.
So, knowing where he wasn't wanted the Match Secretary arranged for Tom Neilson to lead for Willie.
As the day went on the Match Secretary agreed with Stuart Raeburn
to take his place in turn for Stuart playing the following night in the Avondale match,
and lined up with Andrew Craig's rink.
On the ice Andrew's team of David Raeburn, Mhairi Baird and Willie Cannon
lined up against Gavin Hamilton's rink including our very own Fiona Neilson.
There was never much in the game, but after the first end Andrew kept his nose in front, ending with a 7-6 win.
The Match Secretary on the winning team again in an Inter Club match,
funny how these things happen.
Next sheet saw George Strang take on Robert Anderson,
a rematch for the skips after Robert sensationally knocked the in form George out of the Farmer's.
Robert is currently extending the Mains,
he would be working somewhere else but with temperatures at -10
it is difficult to find people wanting to knock through to the outdoors at this time of year.
It looked again as if George had agreed to pay Robert's bill in shots,
as by the third end he was 5-2 down.
But before you could say snagging list
George and his team of Willie King, Alison Paton and Willie Craig, got a 3, and a 1, and another 3.
As bragging rights for the following day looked secure
George allowed himself to adopt a smug grin,
which didn't go unnoticed by Robert as he gave away another 1.
A final result of 10-6 was had.
Jim Strang's team of Willie Allison, William Boyd and Len Baker took on Callum Caskie.
Jim was in Edinburgh last week seeing We Will Rock You,
and quickly got back into the groove with "Under Pressure" being his theme song for the first six ends.
As "Another One Bites The Dust" was looking the order of the day
there was a "Flash", and suddenly a "Don't Stop Me Now".
A brace of twos in ends seven and eight got Jim's rink back to level the game,
enough for Jim to acknowledge the encouragement he had received from the Match Secretary
by giving a two fingered salute to mark his scores of two.
Either that or it was to indicate he had actually pulled his finger out in the final two ends.
So, the final game, Willie Baird and his strong rink versus Andrew Boswell.
Apparently Andrew is having a bad season in their league,
but you wouldn't have known it against Willie in this game,
clearly having a better team than Willie's strong rink.
Suffice to say Willie got more pick ups than shots and ended losing 9-2.
So there it is, our first Inter Club loss of the season.
Only 2 shots in it at the end, a couple of shots, nothing really
(unless you are Willie Baird in which case it is your entire score for the game).
Willie Baird 2 - 9 Andrew Boswell
Jim Strang 5 - 5 Callum Caskie
George Strang 10 - 6 Robert Anderson
Andrew Craig 7 - 6 Gavin Hamilton
Official Match Report by
"Will-he keep on bumming Cannon"....Ed.
|
Not much to say when it don't go your way.
Biggar match the old man's game
We might as well have stayed at hame
True to form withoot a question
we really had a warm welcome
The Biggar lads...(Lads)...well that's a laugh
Are pretty gid wi' chiff an chaff
Untill they got us oan the ice
An thrashed oor buts not ance but twice
Well mabey that's a wee bit strong
Young Dykes jist managed tae hold on
Mah memory noo's a wee bit hazy
Oor ither skip a wee bit crazy
His head wis oan a helter skelter
Wae swingy ice there is nae shelter
The Biggar lads were ower tae gid
An slotted shots upon pot lid.
Ah weel ye canae win them all
An so the Salver's gaun awa.
.......................................................Ed
....alias...Wee Drummie
|
LYNN MATCH REPORT by WC
The last time Lynn won against EKHCC Wee Drummie was still in short trousers.
Copyright Wee Drummie
Aye ok, I know what you are thinking,
he has always been in short trousers or else they would trailing on the ground!!
He must be doing something right to be getting all this "media" attention.......Ed.
Well put it another way,
this was the 26th year of annual competition according to the trophy,
with EKHCC sporting a modest 22 victories,
and a run of 10 consecutive wins leading up to this years game.
What could possibly go wrong, on home ice, with some of our finest curlers……….
and George Brown.
If only, if only, Lockhart hadn't turned the stones and tinkered with the ice in advance of the seniors
(that is the Scottish Seniors next week, not a reflection on the teams in our game),
and if there wasn't random pick ups. It was just like being at East Kilbride itself,
played right into their hands, and the rest is history as they say.
Well at least history for some of the Lynn curlers, many of whom can't remember their last victory.
So the details.
In game 1 Jim Drumgold was weakened by the loss of Margaret Ferguson,
and her replacement in the form of the Match Secretary.
Margaret Brown and Bill Struthers made up the team playing third and lead respectively.
A bright start with a 3 was a highlight, somewhat overshadowed by the 4 against in the next end.
Some shot swapping thereafter and the game ended in a peel.
Alison Allison was skipping in the other game,
with her team of Alison Paton, George Brown and Len Baker.
The game was well matched for a while,
but then a big end of 5 against made the difference and spurred Lynn on to a 14-7 victory.
There it was, a long awaited victory for Lynn, and one which they well deserved on the night.
Maybe this will be their decade……………….
Official Match Report by "W. Cannon"....Ed.
|
East Kilbride and Haremyres vs Blantyre
Our annual outing against Blantyre has resulted in a victory for our Club for several years now,
so what could possibly go wrong………..
A good while before the match Margaret Ferguson pulled out,
a few days before the match Lillias King pulled out,
and hours before the match Mhairi Baird pulled out.
Mhairi apologised for calling off so late,
but she had just found out that Celtic's end of season party was being held the same night.
Replacements on the night were Mary Strang, Caroline Morrison and the Match Secretary.
In the first match Willie King lined up with Caroline Morrison, Willie Craig and Mary Strang.
It was good to see that Willie King had found the ice rink for the game,
something which had proved something of a challenge in Aberdeen - although
it is understood that Brian wasn't giving the directions this time!!
At least one of the Kings knows where the ice rink is in Aberdeen,
and when she was there she did very well.
Mary Strang was just glad to be out of the house,
since just as she was leaving that night George had decided to remodel the old kitchen
in preparation for her new one being installed.
On the other hand Willie Craig wished he had stayed at home,
as by the end of the match he knew everything there was to know about Mary's new one,
and he hadn't even asked.
The second game saw Jackie Craig skipping an inter club game for the first time (and not before time).
Her team was Brian "navigator" King, Willie Cannon and George Brown.
The third and final game was an all ladies rink,
with Fiona Neilson, Alison Leiper, Margaret Brown and Janet Leiper.
After three ends the scoreboard didn't look good,
with the King and Craig rinks being held and Fiona Neilson a few down.
Interestingly Alison Leiper came up with a reason for their predicament, blaming her own mother!!
Having watched a few of Alison's own shots I can only assume she was indicating
her mother was somehow responsible for Alison playing tight, light, wide and heavy!!!!!
As the game progressed it was in fact Janet who led the way,
with a fine display which the others followed,
allowing them to claw their way back into the game.
The end result a narrow defeat, 7-8.
The "Janet" effect rubbed off elsewhere too,
with Jackie Craig overcoming early nerves to command her game.
Brian "navigator" King was also in good form,
as long as someone pointed him to face in the right direction.
George Brown also played his part, bringing his own tactical knowledge to his lead position.
The result was a convincing 11-4 victory,
and would you believe it the Match Secretary in a winning team again.
Finally, in Willie King's game, it had looked like curtains early doors,
but Mary then went on to tell them about
her tiles, the new ceiling, the worktops, the cooker, the drawer handles and best of all
George recycling the old kitchen.
Through all of this Willie King somehow managed to cook up a 7-4 victory!!
And so another victory for EKHCC by 25 shots to 16,
with Jackie Craig lifting the trophy in her first outing as skip.
Well done to her, and thanks to all who played their part on the night.
|
EAST KILBRIDE & HAREMYRES vs LESMAHAGOW
Report by President George
If you get the feeling I am writing in a report for a reason
EAST KILBRIDE & HAREMYRES vs LESMAHAGOW
then the reason is of course.....that I won the cup
and not the match secretary for a change.
Playing the famous but a bit elderly John Veitch
I wish to protest and stick up for my Dad-he's not that elderly!
Too many yachting holidays with Tommy Campbell aged him prematurely!!!
Alison(can't decide which club to support on this interclub night so just don't play!!) Taylor
we had a good win, Helen Drummond and Linda Smith setting up each end nicely
with Jim Drumgold and myself mostly guarding.
A five in the second end set us up for the rest of the game.
Wullie Cannon arrived late!!
then stood at the end, on the phone, talking to somebody about blowing up snow.
You would think he would be sick of the stuff like everybody else by now
but no he's rushing back up to Glencoe at every opportunity.
Anyway he got started and would you believe it his draw at the third end came up a mile short
he said it hit a snowy bit!!!!............
John King made the comment.....make sure that gets on the web...... adding later
if this Marshall guy was any good we would be in trouble because Cannon is s....!!!
Bill wasn't helped by Carol Marsh at third so Wullie won by four in the end.
By the way there were no penalty shots for......him being late........ you know who you are.
Lastly we have Tommy the tightest game on the night
David Raeburn couldn't make it so sent his son
thank goodness as Tommy was tight and light all night.
It didn't stop him talking though......Bob O Neil's ears must have been ringing by the end of the game
Tommy won by three.
So EKHCC won 34 to LCC's 19 a good way to finish the inter club season.
There were comments after about Helen and I playing together a lot this year
if Lockhart is reading this it's usually as subs in teams made up by our friend Cannon.
Good luck to them all when they go to Russia they say Vodka is cheaper than water out there Helen.
Marion and Helen are going as bodyguards to Bill Clinton
travelling by Air Siberia might be a giveaway.
When findmecurling......received Alison's email in defense of her "Dad"
he promptly asked permission to append it to the Presidential report.....her reply is printed under.
Hi Alan
Feel free to append anything to George!! Some duck tape over his mouth might be good!
Alison
Members always have the right to comment on anything published on these pages
please feel free to do so......Ed.
The Official Match Report
by
Vice President and Match Secretary Willie Cannon
The last game of our Inter Club season, and chance to make it played 9 matches, won 6.
Back To Rinks Page
I know what you're thinking, stuffing the Avondale surely counts double…………………….
With the Olympics just behind us it was evident that some of our players
had been watching and picking up a few tips.
Unfortunately the Match Secretary was unable to watch the Olympic curling
as on his television the red button broadcasts were only showing club curling
from some place on the west coast of Canada.
Amazing how many folk turn up to watch club curling in Canada though.
Apparently Eric was there watching and now thinks he is an elite curler……..in fact
he has been able to throw wide, tight, light, heavy, mis-judge angles and sweeping for years,
and if only he had been asked
the BOC could have saved the thousands spent training our athletes to do the same.
"Sometimes on the brush" Strang (EKHCC's answer to Pistol Pete) had been watching
and he had picked up that you should match your stones to get the best out of your team.
So with that in mind, he made sure he got down to the ice rink early
and used the free practice at 5:30pm to match the stones for both teams.
He did a great job too, as when the teams took to the ice he had matched them perfectly
into a set of 8 with red handles and set of 8 with yellow handles - pure genius!
In the absence of the Match Secretary at the start of the game
George took full advantage and selected himself to play against John Veitch,
an elder statesman of the Lesmahagow Club
and incidentally tired out from having played the previous game that day.
It is understood that Ali T doesn't think her Dad is elderly.
Fair enough Alison you are entitled to your view,
but if he isn't elderly then he must have still been at school when you were born!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With George was Jim Drumgold,
Helen (I like playing with George - the Match Secretary has no idea what she means by this) Drummond
and Linda Smith, a loaded rink!
George reported that he is usually playing with Helen as a result of the Match Secretary's team selection,
but Lockhart if you are reading this I have nothing to do with the other times they "play" together.
George was in his comfort zone, standing smugly on the hack between shots,
nothing to do but throw short stones,
some of them on the brush,
and generally laughing at the Match Secretary trying his best.
In the end a comfortable victory and a new addition to the very presumptuous "trophy cabinet"
that Jim tells me George has had built into his new office.
In the second game Tommy Campbell had Stuart Raeburn, Stella Cassidy and Willie Craig, another loaded rink,
but to be fair Tommy made it look difficult just to be nice to the opposition.
It was reported that filling in at short notice was keeping Stuart out of his bed,
although his desire to be in bed apparently had nothing to do with him being tired!!
After a bit of up and down (on the scoreboard),
which only added to Stuart's frustration, Tommy ran out the winner.
In the final game the late Match Secretary skipped with Marion Craig, John King and Len Baker.
John King had also been watching the Olympics, or at least it appeared he had,
as he was shouting out numbers consistent with the zonal system used to confirm the weight of the running stone.
Unfortunately it turns out John was shouting how many sweepers it would take
to get the stone anywhere near the house
as he shouted the Match Secretary's stone was a 7 each time and they all came up short.
Marion was invaluable with her knowledge of sheet F,
but that still didn't stop the Match Secretary having a slow start to the game,
well ok 13 stones of a slow start.
But never mind, he saved the best until last and made a two with his last stone to finish four up,
and complete a record of not having lost an inter club game this season
(I would say won every game but Jim Drumgold put paid to that with a peel in the Lynn).
If only Willie Baird had accepted the Match Secretary's offer
to play in his strong team in the Galston game……………..
Passing the time between shots the Match Secretary asked Marion
"did she ever think in her wildest dreams that Archie would be part of the winning team
in the Scottish Seniors for a third time"?
Immediately she replied "no"…………………..and explained…………
because I am not thinking about Archie in my wildest dreams!!!!!!!!!!!
Archie is currently awaiting diplomatic clearance to enter Russia,
imagine the scene inside the Kremlin….."look comrades,
the former president of the US of A and United Nations special envoy
is wanting to come and visit under a pseudonym known as Archie Craig.
He has even tried to keep his profile low by saying the reason for his visit
is as brush carrier for the Scottish Seniors Curling Team.
Well ok, so long as he doesn't do any of that Monica Lewinsky stuff while he is here.
No Commander, apparently he can't do that any more on account of his sare knee".
So there we have it, the end of another successful Inter Club season,
starting and ending with a lame joke about sare knees!
If you enjoyed the reports my name is Willie Cannon,
if you didn't enjoy them my name is George Strang.
If you are Alison Allison it doesn't matter,
as only last week she asked me…….."what is it you do in this Club these days".
I have no idea either Alison!
Finally, a big thank you to all of the curlers who played their hearts out,
who filled in when asked, played in good sprit
and most importantly of all had a laugh along the way.
Oh and to Wee Drummie, who makes our website the envy of others,
and without him there would be no reports to read!Willie Cannon
The "Final Word"
Many thanks to everyoneand I don't just refer to the perpetrators of the written word.....
......where would they be without us to write about??
who made a contribution to the Inter Club Reports
it certainly makes the web site a little more interesting.....Ed.
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Last Update To This Page 9th March 2010
© Copyright East Kilbride and Haremyres Curling Club 2010